Saturday, January 17, 2004

An Interesting Day

I had to work this morning. We had an event in the building and my job was to take tickets for the event. There were only 300 or so people for the event so that was no problem. Except that some people tried to give me money for tickets, while I was taking up tickets. Then people wanted to carry on a conversation with me while I was taking tickets. I was doing well to say Good morning to people as I was tearing their tickets. I didn't figure on the fact that people would want to do anything else other than give me their ticket. That really confused me. Then, I had to pull box office reports and figure out the client's bill. I hadn't intended on doing that either. So it was a tough day. I can't do math in my head any longer and I can't do three things at once any longer. So I was doomed from the beginning of the morning. I had to have people go back over what I was doing and I don't like to do that. It shows my vulnerability I guess. And, I feel stupid. I went to a conference where others with Alzheimer's were speaking and that is one of the things one of them said is "How it makes you feel stupid". It's hard to get past that thought when you know you can do something or you used to be able to do something and now you can't. That's pretty frustrating.

The good side of today was that I got to see my son. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. And, although he's all grown up (you are at 20 you know) he'll always be "my little boy" and yes, he hates me saying that. We went to Atlanta to see him today for lunch. I really miss him and I worry about the day when I will no longer be able to recognize him and how that will make him feel. Although it was raining outside today, the sun always shines in my heart when I see him.

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