Thanks for your emails and comments about my "meltdown". I'm still bothered by it -- I hate that it happened. To Lee in Illinois -- I have not had a yoga class but my doctors have taught me how to get out of it and I'm pretty good at it. Most of the time I start hyper-ventilating at the same time, so it is important for me to get my breathing under control. I have a brown paper bag I carry in my purse to breathe into, but since I was on the golf course I didn't have my purse. But, even though I could get out of the panic attacks, I felt that it was best to get off the course and get home -- I feel "safer" at home. If that makes any sense.

Meltdown

Well, I tried. Today I went to go play golf. I haven't played in a couple of weeks and with my new medication for concentration I was doing pretty well.

My husband and two guys that have retired from where he worked usually make up our foursome. The last time they played without me they played from the red tees -- which is the ladies tee and the "seniors" tee. Usually they play from the white tees which are little farther back from the red tee. Anyway, today they decided to play from my tees.

Although, I couldn't handle it. I started having panic attacks on the second hole, because it "wasn't right" -- it wasn't my normal routine. I thought I could work through it but I couldn't -- I hit two shots straight into the woods and then had such panic attack I thought I was going to die because I couldn't get my breath. Then, when I did catch my breath I just sat down on the cart path and started crying. I couldn't get it together -- things were "off" and I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't get it together. After calming down a little I decided to come back home, I knew that I couldn't go on.

Such little things can throw you off and it is so frustrating that I have to live this way.

I know I haven't posted for awhile. I'm still dealing with a sore tooth -- even after my root canal. I'm not sure it will ever feel better. I go back to the dentist next week and hopefully, at some point, I will be able to chew on that side.

I'm also still getting used to the medicine the doctor put me on for my concentration. It is helping I will say, but it does take some getting used to. It's a good thing......just different. It certainly has helped my concentration on the golf course if nothing else!

We are planning a trip to NYC in a few weeks. Alan is going to meet us up there and hopefully, if Jennifer can get the time off she will as well. We have tickets for the US Open Tennis Tournament. It's something Alan and I have always wanted to do but the timing was never right. I guess the "stars alignned" and we were able to pull it off this year -- barring any unforseen circumstances. Since I've been to NYC many times, I am hoping I won't have many problems. Since it is the week before Labor Day the crowds might still be up but I will just have to deal with them the best I can at that point I guess. I won't be alone and I can always go back to the hotel to rest if need be. Since I have been so many times, there isn't a lot I haven't seen in NY. Alan also has many friends in the NYC area that he can catch up with while he is there.

I've been busy with Memory Walk -- trying to get my part organized. That has been a lot harder for me this year. Just having to make lots and lots more notes and lists.

The clutter around the house has been getting to me as well -- not that there is a lot to it but it makes me nervous. So, I have been systematically going from room to room and organizing and cleaning it. I'm sure that I will put things places and forget where they are -- but oh well -- it won't be the first time!

Friends

I know that I have said this before -- that when I was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's that my friends (and family) were the most important things to me. Unfortunately, some friends that I thought were friends, really weren't friends because they went running to the hills when they found out about my diagnosis. I learned a lot from that.

But a few months a friend from my hometown passed away. We had gone to elementary school and high school together. Word of his death hit me very hard although it had probably been over 25 years since I had seen him. He was quite successful in business as I think we all knew he would be. He was every kid's friend and I don't think I ever heard anyone say anything bad about him. I've recently tried to reach out to some of my old classmates through Facebook and "talking" with them via Facebook I learned that they too were hit hard by his death. I guess that speaks volumes about him as a person. I'm sorry I didn't make it back home to his funeral. I had sent a note to his parents and received a lovely note in return about the support they had been given and how touched they were that so many old classmates came to pay their respects or contact them. I don't think we will ever know what type of impression we leave on people.....we all hope it is a positive one I am sure. I was proud to call Terry my friend.

Questions and Answers

I have had quite a few questions emailed to me recently and I'll take this opportunity to answer them

1.Someone asked which medication I was taking for concentration -- the answer is Adderall -- it is a drug given for people with Attention Deficit Disorder. I don't know if it works for everyone but it certainly has helped me. I was having such a difficult time concentrating for more than an hour or so, it has definitely helpe me. One of the side effects is that it will keep you awake so sometimes, even though I still feel like I need my afternoon nap, that is difficult to come by. Sleeping at night though hasn't been a problem if I take my pill early in the morning. It took a little while to get the dosage to where it has worked, but for now, it is helping.

2. Next questions was about travel since I have been talking about it a lot lately. Someone wanted to know "how well I travel". I wish I travelled better -- it is getting harder and harder to do if I go to a place I am unfamiliar with. My husband was with me on the last two trips -- but the one up to Cape Cod was definitley harder because I had never been before. Plus, all the tourists (me included) made it more difficult. I don't do well in crowds -- I get a feeling of being overwhelmed and the noise is very distracting. I find myself having panic attacks. I know how to deal with them so I do, and having someone along certainly helps and can get me out of situations if need be. Also, not overcrowding my schedule helps and lots of sleep.

3. Do I speak to groups? was another question I have had recently. My answer is yes -- and I love to do it. I have said that as long as I can I want to be able to speak about this disease to help educate the public. I'll go just about anywhere and talk to just about anyone. As long as my expenses are covered I'm usually good to go. I try to bring a bit of humor into my talks so it isn't "a downer" and try to share some day to day experiences with the audience. Just leave me a message with contact information if you are interested and I promise I won't broadcast that information out to all the readers of this blog.

4. Memory Walk -- I've had several people ask me who can walk in a Memory Walk. Anyone can walk in any walk across the country! Of course, Memory Walk is the major fund raiser for the Alzheimer's Association but you do not have to raise money if you don't want to --- you can just find a walk near you and come out and support the cause. If you do raise, $150 you will get an official "Memory Walk" t-shirt. Walks are held all over the country in the fall -- go to www.alz.org or find a walk near you. We need you all to come out and support our cause.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your questions.

Yes, It's Me

I have had quite a few emails about the Memory Walk spots that are playing around the country. People are asking if that is me in those spots and yes, I am in some of them. They were done a few years ago and are not playing in all markets. There are certain spots that are running in all markets and many of you may have seen some of those. Anyway, to answer the question, yes, that is me.



My teeth are still bothering me. Another trip to the dentist tomorrow.



The medicine the doctor gave me for concentration though really seems to be working. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will continue to help me.



We had our Memory Walk Captain's meeting today. If you would like to donate to the cause, please follow the link to the right that says Memory Walk Donation Page. I know times are bad right now, but even a little helps!

Teeth

Last year I had three crowns put in my mouth. Last week I had a root canal. I haven't had that much dental work in one year ever -- I've always had pretty healthy teeth -- what is up with that. But, after the root canal last week things are a lot worse -- that tooth hurts now even more than it did before. Of course, it started hurting late Friday afternoon so you know what I am going to be doing first thing today!

But, I'm on my way to Atlanta for some business so if I am to get back into the dentist's chair it will have to wait at least one more day -- but it can't come soon enough.

Vacation

We're back from the Northeast. We flew into Boston and then went to Rhode Island. We visited Newport and the International Tennis Hall of Fame and then some of the mansions there. The next day we took the Ferry to Martha's Vineyard, then on to Cape Cod to visit my old college friend. We hadn't seen each other in over 20 years and I think we picked up right where we left off. We have been keeping in touch with each other over the years but it was so nice to see her again. She and her husband have a beautiful house in Cape Cod but they live full time in Albany New York. More soon -- just wanted to post a couple of photos. We are sitting on her back porch -- the pond behind her is called "Katie's Pond". The sunset is from the Cape Cod Bay.

ICAD

The International Conference on Alzheimer's Disease is going on right now in Vienna. Chek the Alzheimer's Association website for all the latest news in research and development that is being discussed. www.alz.org

I know it has been awhile. My "concentration" medicine the doctor put me on isn't doing much good -- I go back tomorrow to see what he says. And, I get to have a root canal tomorrow. A girl just can't have too much fun in one day!

Later in the week we are off to Cape Cod. One of my best friends while in college has a summer home there and we are visiting her and her husband. I have not seen her for 23 years -- I can't believe it has been that long but it has. After working for a few years out of college she moved to Alaska, I then moved to Georgia. She came down once to visit us here when Alan was about two years old. She was in Atlanta on business and she got to visit for a few days. We used to try to schedule our trips back to Peoria together so we could see each other but that got more and more difficult to do. But, we have stayed in touch and this weekend we will finally get to catch up. She left Alaska and moved to NY -- gained a new husband and they now reside in Albany. I have never met her new husband so I am anxious to meet Bill as well.

And, we will get away from these 90+ degree days here in Georgia.