Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Meltdown

Well, I tried. Today I went to go play golf. I haven't played in a couple of weeks and with my new medication for concentration I was doing pretty well.

My husband and two guys that have retired from where he worked usually make up our foursome. The last time they played without me they played from the red tees -- which is the ladies tee and the "seniors" tee. Usually they play from the white tees which are little farther back from the red tee. Anyway, today they decided to play from my tees.

Although, I couldn't handle it. I started having panic attacks on the second hole, because it "wasn't right" -- it wasn't my normal routine. I thought I could work through it but I couldn't -- I hit two shots straight into the woods and then had such panic attack I thought I was going to die because I couldn't get my breath. Then, when I did catch my breath I just sat down on the cart path and started crying. I couldn't get it together -- things were "off" and I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't get it together. After calming down a little I decided to come back home, I knew that I couldn't go on.

Such little things can throw you off and it is so frustrating that I have to live this way.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Has the doctor given you anything for anxiety? Or have you ever taken a class such as yoga to help you calm yourself in situations like this?
---Lee in IL

Bill said...

Kris, i just read your post and I am so sorry this happened..Hope you are doing much better now..If there is anything I can help with please let me know. B

Amy said...

My mom has alzheimers and I am touched by your blog. I am journaling with her. God Bless you. Amy

http://thesweetwiththebitteralzheimersblog.blogspot.com/