Frustration

I know I have written here before about how frustrating it is for me to play tennis these days. I lack the concentration for it. And, tennis is probably about the only thing in life I have ever had a true passion for. Yesterday, one of our Memory Walk teams in Athens held a tennis tournament to raise funds for the walk. Of course, I had to sign up and my husband I played in it. Of course we didn't win -- but my frustration with it was very upsetting to me. First of all I forgot my earplugs. The noise from the surrounding courts bothers me and to make matters worse, we played at a local high school and their football team came out to practice just at the same time we started to play. So not only did I have to deal with the tennis court noise, I had the students making noise and the coaches whistles blowing all the time. And, I think that my frustration came from not the fact that I couldn't play well, but that the reality struck me that I probably shouldn't play at all. Giving up something like tennis for me is difficult.

Another frustrating thing is that my oldest brother is not well. He has diabetes and we think the start of Parkinsons. He won't seek medical attention in spite of our best efforts. He obviously has a death wish -- or so it would seem. We all feel very helpless. I feel even more helpless living so far away. He won't listen to his family. We know he is depressed and it hurts us deeply that he won't see a doctor about the things that he can do something about -- his depression and his diabetes. He was diagnosed with diabetes a couple of years ago and refuses to take medicine or watch his diet. His eyes and his feet are in bad shape and it is a shame to see him do this to himself. How frustrating.