Friday, May 08, 2009

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day this Sunday to all those mothers out there reading this. The best thing that anyone has ever called me is "Alan's Mom". It was nice having him home this past weekend -- an early Mother's Day present for me. Just spending time with him is enough. I wish I could take the credit for him being the man he is today -- but I know that he has done most of that himself. I'm real proud of him.

My relationship with my mother was pretty bad. We were like oil and water. I was never good enough. We went long periods of time without speaking. And, it is sad. But, I tried. I don't remember early Mother's Days with her, but as I became an adult they became harder and harder. I never, ever bought her a present she liked. She would yell at me for buying certain things because "you know I don't like this" is what would come back to me. If I knew that I wouldn't have bought it for her -- but I guess she thought I was doing it on purpose. If I chose the route of sending flowers I would get the response "you don't take the time to go buy me a present so you take the easy way out and call the florist". As you can see a no win situation. Before she passed away twenty years ago we had become friends somewhat I guess, but never had that mother daughter bond. As a result, Mother's Day was always a problem for me -- I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't.

My first Mother's Day as a mother 25 years ago didn't go so well either. My husband is not a person that usually buys presents or thinks about getting a card or wishing someone a happy birthday. I always bought the presents for his mother, sent the cards and was sure that he called her on Mother's Day. But, I was sure that my first Mother's Day would be different. Was I wrong. After going most of that day without even a "Happy Mother's Day" from his lips (Alan was 7 months old at the time) I was sure that he had something planned for that evening. About 4:30 he asked me what we were having for dinner. At that point I knew there were no surprises. I asked him if he was ever going to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and his response was "You're not my mother". I don't think I need to say anymore!

So, all my friends out there that are Mother's -- even though you are not MY mother, I wish you all a great day on Sunday.


Sofia said...

Today I did a search on Alzheimer and blog and I found yours. I shall admit that I haven't read all the posts, but what I have read has touched me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

I work in a group home for people with memory disabilities here in Stockholm, Sweden. Even though you are in a different part of the world the illness is still the same, and I wanted to thank you for giving me an insight in what it may feel like for those suffering here as well.

Thank you!

Karen Lynn said...

Happy late Mother's Day to you