Back To "Normal"

As I write this my son is heading back to California. It was nice to have him here for ten days. I really miss him when he goes back. We had a great time getting to play some golf and tennis. Since my concentration is not that good anymore I'm not that much fun to play with, but he played with me and I at least enjoyed myself.

Yesterday we went to a Braves game. It was a long day for me. To make matters worse my husband was driving and he has a severe case of road rage and it upsets me greatly. I couldn't go to the airport with him today when he took Alan because I couldn't be in the car with him again so soon. I get really agitated when he has one of his rages and he knows it --he just doesn't do anything to control it. Because I knew that it always happens I asked him if he even wanted to go to the game (he doesn't like baseball that much) and if he did that I couldn't tolerate the "road rage" so if he went with us he had to keep it under control. Obviously that didn't happen. I can't change him, so I'm going to have to change the way I get around. I've missed out on many things I want to do because I can't be in the car with him. Around our town it isn't so bad because I can still get some places by myself. It's harder when I need to go somewhere out of town.....but I'll figure it out.

My son made a couple of changes on this website. If you notice at the left, there is a link to this year's Memory Walk and a link to his blog.

Now I need to get back into my routine and I'll feel a whole lot better.

Laughter

I realize when my son comes home to visit how much I miss laughter. When he is home we laugh all the time....at silly things....at life in general.....and even at ourselves. I don't do that as much when he is not around. I think I used to.....but not so much now. Life really is too short not to laugh -- even if it is at our own expense.

Busy

Alan's home so I have been busy. We've been trying to play golf as he lugged his clubs here from California so we thought we should put them to use. My concentration isn't what it used to be so after about five holes I'm "done in for". But, at least I'm out there trying and getting some exercise.

We are off to relax in the mountains for a couple of days. More soon.

Changes

My husband has been retired for about two weeks now. He still thinks he is on vacation, but having him around all the time is starting to take a toll on me. Although I have been trying to get out of the house when I can, having another body around the house all the time is just hard on me.

We've discussed the problems that I was going to face and how we can help to change the environment a bit. We just haven't done anything about it and I guess it is time. I've proposed some changes as far as making a "quiet room" for me. The constant noise of the television being on all the time is really bothering me. Having that extra noise in the house is very tiring. Luckily, my husband isn't real needy and isn't a big conversationalist but I still feel the need to be somewhat engaging when someone else is in the house.....always having to be "on" if you will.

I haven't had to deal with that much since I have retired -- a few days on the weekend -- but then I would have Monday through Friday to get back into a routine. The routine is certainly missing now that there is another person in the house. I don't feel like I can carry on my regular routine with someone around. I guess I'll have to get over that. I've been pretty good about getting up and going to the gym in the mornings and a few other things that I regularly do, but when someone else is around it is just different.

I know it has only been a couple of weeks, but it is probably time to make some changes. It is nice knowing someone is around in case I need some help, which on some days is more than others. I'm just not very good with change these days.

The Weekend

Hope all the mother's out there reading this had a great Mother's Day. I got enjoy watching some college tennis on the UGA campus. The Georgia men are now headed to Stanford for next weeks NCAA tennis tournament. I wish the tourney was being held in Athens (as it often is) because I enjoy watching -- but next year it will be back here and we'll get to enjoy seeing the best in the country play. They make it look so easy!

My son will be home on Saturday. He has two exams this week. I'm hoping he'll help me change a few things on this blog as it is getting a little boring!

On Saturday I went to Atlanta to help film a Memory Walk video for the Georgia Alzheimer's Association. They are putting this together for potential sponsors of the walk. I hope it works -- we need support and anything we can do to get it will help. I've already started raising money for the walk so you will probably be hearing from me shortly -- although our walk isn't until November. Need to raise it when I can!

My husband's retirement is going o.k. I think that he still feels like he is on vacation since it hasn't even been two weeks yet. We have managed to "stay out of each other's way" pretty well so far. It is different having him home though. I realize all the little things I have to adjust to by having someone else in the house all day. Plus, he hurt his back last week and hasn't been able to move around a lot so he has been kind of laying around the house these days. I hope his back gets better before Alan comes home so we can play some golf or tennis.

I've written enough for now -- more soon -- I promise!

Happy Mother's Day

to all my friends out there. My son will be home next week so that will be a nice present for me.

It's easy to take our kids for granted. Sometimes it is hard to see them for the individuals they are. They'll always be our "children" regardless of how old they are.

I think the saying "you don't appreciate your parents until you have children of your own" is true. I wish I would have learned that earlier.

Tennis Part II

My husband and I played our second tennis match on the little league I was telling you about a few weeks ago. Rain in our area has forced us to cancel a couple of matches so we are a little behind. I did a little better last night -- we still lost but we had a good match and it could have gone either way. I still am walking around the court like a zombie most of the time, because I can't remember the score and can't remember who is serving. I get into the point and my concentration is only on the point and nothing else. My husband has a bad habit of not saying the score when he serves so I am having to ask him constantly what the score is. He says it shouldn't matter what it is -- which is true because you should try to win every point and not play according to the score. However, it is bad tennis etiquette not to say the score for everyone's behalf. We had to play three sets and I held it together for that long, so I'm scoring a personal victory for holding on!

We are suppose to play another match this week -- we'll see how that goes.

My son will be home from law school in a couple of weeks. I saw him about six weeks ago but it seems like a lot longer than that. I really miss him being here -- do we ever get over that as parents?

Retirement Part II

Well, it is official, my husband is now retired. There was a small party for him at the lab and it was so nice. Everyone was so gracious and Ralph gave a very nice talk at the end. That is not something he likes to do but I was very proud of him. I know how hard that must have been for him. We took some photos and I'll post some as soon as he takes them out of the camera.

I gave him some golf lessons as a retirement present. I hope he'll feel a little better about his swing after a few lessons. He just needs to play more. Now he has the time to do that. I just need to find some other people for him to play with besides me.

Adjustment time is ahead.....for both of us.

Retirement

My husband retires on Wednesday after spending 40 years with the US Government. He certainly deserves it and I'm happy for him. But at the same time I'm pretty depressed about it. I feel guilty for saying that because it is selfish of me to think that way.

I'm used to having the house to myself, it is quiet all day long and I don't have to answer to anyone. Having another person in the house makes me tired. I started realizing several months ago how tired I was on Monday mornings and finally realized that I was more tired because there was more going on during the weekends with Ralph home and more was expected of me. I had to actually participate in conversations and keep up with more. Mentally, that is a lot for me.

Ralph knows that some adjustments are going to have to be made. From both of us. I really don't know any couples that haven't had to go through some adjustments during the retirement stage.

It will be a few weeks before Ralph really feels like he is retired, as it will seem like a vacation for awhile. Reality will eventually set in and hopefully we'll be ready for it.