World Alzheimer's Day

is next Monday -- September 21st -- wear purple -- be seen -- be heard! For more information you can go to www.actionalz.org.

Also, at that website you can view the show that ran last night on PBS "Retirement Revolution the New Reality". I didn't get to see it but I plan to watch it.

I haven't written for awhile I know. I've had a cold and I've been extremely tired -- so not motivated is a good way to put it.

Our trip to New York was really nice. I was confused a lot of the time -- too much visual stimulation I think, as well as too many people! But, I survived and did the best I could. When I get in large crowds I have to hold on to someone -- I know that sounds silly -- but it helps me get by. My husband doesn't like holding my hand (God forbid I would touch him in public), so when I am with him I have to try to hold on to his arm or his shirt or something. And, he walks really slow so I get aggravated. When I am with my son, he walks fast and doesn't mind holding his mom's hand, so it was nice to be with him and get his assistance. I really get confused crossing the street -- this sounds silly too -- but I can't take my cue from other people because they cross when they are not suppose to -- so you have people walking across both sides of the street at the same time. When I look at the crosswalk signal I get confused, because at the same time I can see a green light so I'm not sure if I am suppose to cross or not -- and the crosswalk signs are different in each city so I get confused. Little things I know -- but little things make a difference.

Going out to the US Open the subways were really crowded and I managed to have a really bad trip one day -- but I got through. I knew it was going to be a problem, and anticipating the problem helps, because I can try to help myself as much as I can and those that are with me can help me too. A lot of people ask me how I can go to sporting events when there are so many people at them -- my response to that is that in most cases, people have a seat and are sitting in it -- it's not like I have all these people standing around me -- there is some sense of order to it. I'm not in the middle of it -- and I know what to expect --I think the surprises catching me off guard makes things worse.

But, I'm glad I went. I have been wanting to go to the Open for along time. The facility and grounds were beautiful. We got to watch some great tennis. I'm glad we were not there the second weekend as the rain was a real problem. The weather was almost perfect for us and made the trip more pleasing. Plus, I got time to spend with Alan and with his wife Jennifer. She could only stay a few days with us because she had to get back to DC but I don't talk to her much and I hadn't seen her since Christmas so I was glad to spend some time with her. When I'm with Alan we always laugh so much -- I miss that -- we don't laugh around our house much -- which is really a shame when you think about it.

Alan starts a new job today -- he left his law firm and is going to do a two year clerkship with Judge Kollar Kotelly in the DC circuit. He's really looking forward to it and it will be a great experience for him. They are also moving into another apartment this month so a few changes for them this month.

I'm still recuperating from my trip -- I'm still exhausted. I'm either getting a cold or suffering from my allergies which doesn't help. The trip was great but I could never have done it alone -- I'm glad my family was with me. The crowds got the best of me a few times. But I survived -- it was great being with my son. We laugh so much when we are together and I really miss that. Alan always has a smile on his face and it is very refreshing. Our daughter-in-law Jennifer was with us for a few days and I had not seen her since Christmas so it was nice spending a few days with her as well.

On another note -- World Alzheimer's Day is September 21st. I have been getting some requests to post some sites you might want to check out. One is "memories matter" -- this is a site in the UK which lets you post memories of your loved one with Alzheimer's -- or your memories if you have the disease. The link to it is http://www.memories-matter.org/. I have also heard from David Wasser from Retirement Living TV -- they are running a documentary on September 21st about Alzheimer's. I'm not sure I get that channel but the link to their site is www.rl.tv. There are some previews of the show there.

Hopefully, we will see a lot in the news about Alzheimer's and take advantage of this day.

New York City

We just returned from five days in NYC. We went for the US Open Tennis tournament. Alan and Jennifer came up from Washington DC to meet us, although Jennifer couldn't stay but a few days. Going to the US Open was something that Alan and I had been wanting to do for some time but the timing wasn't right with his school and his work, but we made it work this year.

The experience was great and it was one of those things that you were glad you went. The crowds got to me and a few other things but I survived. More on the trip later -- just wanted to post these photos. Jennifer and Ralph took these photos.

Memory Walk

Our Memory Walk is in about 6 weeks -- can't believe it is coming up so quickly. We are having it at a different venue so it is takinga little more planning than usual. Luckily, some sponsors have come in.....our goal is to raise $75,000 -- with the economy it is going to be hard, but we are optimistic!

I'll be away from the computer for a few days and I know I haven't posted for awhile....but I'm going to try to do better come September!

Thanks for your emails and comments about my "meltdown". I'm still bothered by it -- I hate that it happened. To Lee in Illinois -- I have not had a yoga class but my doctors have taught me how to get out of it and I'm pretty good at it. Most of the time I start hyper-ventilating at the same time, so it is important for me to get my breathing under control. I have a brown paper bag I carry in my purse to breathe into, but since I was on the golf course I didn't have my purse. But, even though I could get out of the panic attacks, I felt that it was best to get off the course and get home -- I feel "safer" at home. If that makes any sense.

Meltdown

Well, I tried. Today I went to go play golf. I haven't played in a couple of weeks and with my new medication for concentration I was doing pretty well.

My husband and two guys that have retired from where he worked usually make up our foursome. The last time they played without me they played from the red tees -- which is the ladies tee and the "seniors" tee. Usually they play from the white tees which are little farther back from the red tee. Anyway, today they decided to play from my tees.

Although, I couldn't handle it. I started having panic attacks on the second hole, because it "wasn't right" -- it wasn't my normal routine. I thought I could work through it but I couldn't -- I hit two shots straight into the woods and then had such panic attack I thought I was going to die because I couldn't get my breath. Then, when I did catch my breath I just sat down on the cart path and started crying. I couldn't get it together -- things were "off" and I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't get it together. After calming down a little I decided to come back home, I knew that I couldn't go on.

Such little things can throw you off and it is so frustrating that I have to live this way.

I know I haven't posted for awhile. I'm still dealing with a sore tooth -- even after my root canal. I'm not sure it will ever feel better. I go back to the dentist next week and hopefully, at some point, I will be able to chew on that side.

I'm also still getting used to the medicine the doctor put me on for my concentration. It is helping I will say, but it does take some getting used to. It's a good thing......just different. It certainly has helped my concentration on the golf course if nothing else!

We are planning a trip to NYC in a few weeks. Alan is going to meet us up there and hopefully, if Jennifer can get the time off she will as well. We have tickets for the US Open Tennis Tournament. It's something Alan and I have always wanted to do but the timing was never right. I guess the "stars alignned" and we were able to pull it off this year -- barring any unforseen circumstances. Since I've been to NYC many times, I am hoping I won't have many problems. Since it is the week before Labor Day the crowds might still be up but I will just have to deal with them the best I can at that point I guess. I won't be alone and I can always go back to the hotel to rest if need be. Since I have been so many times, there isn't a lot I haven't seen in NY. Alan also has many friends in the NYC area that he can catch up with while he is there.

I've been busy with Memory Walk -- trying to get my part organized. That has been a lot harder for me this year. Just having to make lots and lots more notes and lists.

The clutter around the house has been getting to me as well -- not that there is a lot to it but it makes me nervous. So, I have been systematically going from room to room and organizing and cleaning it. I'm sure that I will put things places and forget where they are -- but oh well -- it won't be the first time!

Friends

I know that I have said this before -- that when I was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's that my friends (and family) were the most important things to me. Unfortunately, some friends that I thought were friends, really weren't friends because they went running to the hills when they found out about my diagnosis. I learned a lot from that.

But a few months a friend from my hometown passed away. We had gone to elementary school and high school together. Word of his death hit me very hard although it had probably been over 25 years since I had seen him. He was quite successful in business as I think we all knew he would be. He was every kid's friend and I don't think I ever heard anyone say anything bad about him. I've recently tried to reach out to some of my old classmates through Facebook and "talking" with them via Facebook I learned that they too were hit hard by his death. I guess that speaks volumes about him as a person. I'm sorry I didn't make it back home to his funeral. I had sent a note to his parents and received a lovely note in return about the support they had been given and how touched they were that so many old classmates came to pay their respects or contact them. I don't think we will ever know what type of impression we leave on people.....we all hope it is a positive one I am sure. I was proud to call Terry my friend.

Questions and Answers

I have had quite a few questions emailed to me recently and I'll take this opportunity to answer them

1.Someone asked which medication I was taking for concentration -- the answer is Adderall -- it is a drug given for people with Attention Deficit Disorder. I don't know if it works for everyone but it certainly has helped me. I was having such a difficult time concentrating for more than an hour or so, it has definitely helpe me. One of the side effects is that it will keep you awake so sometimes, even though I still feel like I need my afternoon nap, that is difficult to come by. Sleeping at night though hasn't been a problem if I take my pill early in the morning. It took a little while to get the dosage to where it has worked, but for now, it is helping.

2. Next questions was about travel since I have been talking about it a lot lately. Someone wanted to know "how well I travel". I wish I travelled better -- it is getting harder and harder to do if I go to a place I am unfamiliar with. My husband was with me on the last two trips -- but the one up to Cape Cod was definitley harder because I had never been before. Plus, all the tourists (me included) made it more difficult. I don't do well in crowds -- I get a feeling of being overwhelmed and the noise is very distracting. I find myself having panic attacks. I know how to deal with them so I do, and having someone along certainly helps and can get me out of situations if need be. Also, not overcrowding my schedule helps and lots of sleep.

3. Do I speak to groups? was another question I have had recently. My answer is yes -- and I love to do it. I have said that as long as I can I want to be able to speak about this disease to help educate the public. I'll go just about anywhere and talk to just about anyone. As long as my expenses are covered I'm usually good to go. I try to bring a bit of humor into my talks so it isn't "a downer" and try to share some day to day experiences with the audience. Just leave me a message with contact information if you are interested and I promise I won't broadcast that information out to all the readers of this blog.

4. Memory Walk -- I've had several people ask me who can walk in a Memory Walk. Anyone can walk in any walk across the country! Of course, Memory Walk is the major fund raiser for the Alzheimer's Association but you do not have to raise money if you don't want to --- you can just find a walk near you and come out and support the cause. If you do raise, $150 you will get an official "Memory Walk" t-shirt. Walks are held all over the country in the fall -- go to www.alz.org or find a walk near you. We need you all to come out and support our cause.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your questions.