I'm having one of those "anxiety" weeks -- trying to fend off all too common panic attacks. It is very weird how they come on -- but I just get this feeling that I have to be home. I feel much better when I am home -- last week when I went to the neurologist he asked me if it was making me a "hermit" --and I wouldn't say that that is the case, I just feel better at home. I can't quite wrap my feelings around it -- it is just that I need to be home.
On another note, I received a lovely note from a lady that attended my talk in Gainesville last week. That meant so much to me.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Speaking in Gainesville
Yesterday I drove t Gainesville Georgia where I spoke to the Commerce Club. My friend Carol set it up for me and there were about 20 women there. I decided I was having a good enough day that I could speak from just my notes and it turned out pretty well. I'm never quite sure going into it whether I'm going to hit a chord with the group I'm speaking to or not. But, as I have said before, this is much for therapy for me as it is hopefully an education for them. They were extremely gracious women and made me feel very comfortable -- I'm sure it is that Southern Charm. But, I appreciate them taking the time to listen to my message and hopefully I was able to answer a few questions for them. I enjoyed myself but I was extremely tired when I returned home and a nap was in store. I have spoken to a group in about a month and it took more out of me than I thought it would -- but it was worth it -- it is always worth it! Thanks again to the ladies in Gainesville for having me.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
A little change
as you will see -- you can now add a comment. My son came through for me (as I knew he would!) but be nice --- everyone else can read your comments!
Monday, September 05, 2005
Another world away
is what it seems like to me when I look at the devastating photos from New Orleans. I was glued to my tv set for the first few days of Katrina and then I started getting so depressed I stopped watching. I cannot even imagine what those people are going through. My problems don't seem to be very big when I see that.
My son has made it to Stanford and starts his classes tomorrow. It seems like it has been a long time coming -- I know he will enjoy his studies.
Before he left, he was going to alter my blog site somewhat in order for you to send comments, but that is a task that didn't get done and probably won't for awhile. That is certainly not a priority now.
I have been working as much as I can on the Memory Walk as it is in about 6 weeks. It overwhelms me at times and I keep thinking that I can continue like I used to and I know that I can't. It's just hard to get that in my mind sometimes! I don't know what my role will be next year, it is probably time for me to be off the committee and just gather my friends, raise money and walk for the good of the cause.
To all of those that have donated to the Walk in my honor, thank you. I know for many there are more pressing issues in the world right now than finding a cure for Alzheimer's -- but I hope we don't lose sight of it.
My son has made it to Stanford and starts his classes tomorrow. It seems like it has been a long time coming -- I know he will enjoy his studies.
Before he left, he was going to alter my blog site somewhat in order for you to send comments, but that is a task that didn't get done and probably won't for awhile. That is certainly not a priority now.
I have been working as much as I can on the Memory Walk as it is in about 6 weeks. It overwhelms me at times and I keep thinking that I can continue like I used to and I know that I can't. It's just hard to get that in my mind sometimes! I don't know what my role will be next year, it is probably time for me to be off the committee and just gather my friends, raise money and walk for the good of the cause.
To all of those that have donated to the Walk in my honor, thank you. I know for many there are more pressing issues in the world right now than finding a cure for Alzheimer's -- but I hope we don't lose sight of it.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Off To Law School
Well, yesterday was an emotional day for my husband and I. Our son drove off to California to go to Stanford Law School. Considering we live in Georgia, it's a long way away. There were naturally lots of tears, but we know that this is the right place for him. We are very proud of him and we know that he will do well. He is a great son.
Friday, August 19, 2005
It's been a long week
On Sunday night we had a going away party for my son and his girlfriend. It was so nice that everyone showed up and we had a good time. I was really exhausted after it though. On Monday Alan and I went out to play golf. I've been having a problem with my right foot -- the same one I broke awhile back. And, it was hurting so bad when I got home that I decided it was finally time to go see the doctor. To make a long story short, I am now in a "boot" and go back in ten days to see what is going on. It appears that I have a stress fracture in my foot and a bone spur that is rubbing up against my Achilles Tendon. None of this is good. We'll see what happens after I go back to the doctor.
Alan is getting all of his stuff ready for Stanford. He'll leave next Tuesday. I have been dreading this day -- and it will be here before I know it.
I go back to the neurologist on Monday. I haven't been in awhile and I can't imagine he is going to tell me a lot -- wish there were some new "cures" out there!
Our computer has been sick for a few days and it hasn't allowed me to get to the internet or my email. Since it is difficult for me to talk on the phone my computer is kind of like my "lifeline" if you will. I can go back and re-read emails and take me time composing as that is difficult sometimes. Luckily, my husband was able to fix it and now I feel "back to normal".
Alan is getting all of his stuff ready for Stanford. He'll leave next Tuesday. I have been dreading this day -- and it will be here before I know it.
I go back to the neurologist on Monday. I haven't been in awhile and I can't imagine he is going to tell me a lot -- wish there were some new "cures" out there!
Our computer has been sick for a few days and it hasn't allowed me to get to the internet or my email. Since it is difficult for me to talk on the phone my computer is kind of like my "lifeline" if you will. I can go back and re-read emails and take me time composing as that is difficult sometimes. Luckily, my husband was able to fix it and now I feel "back to normal".
Thursday, August 11, 2005
A Bad Day When You Least Expect It
Today started out a good day. Today was our Memory Walk Captain's Luncheon. Outback Steakhouse provided lunch for our committee and for those who are going to have a team in this year's Memory Walk. I didn't have to do much for it -- I got some door prizes together and helped with whatever I could. I wasn't even speaking -- I did last year, but I thought they needed to hear someone else speak this year.
The lunch went well but in the end I realized how stressed I was. I shouldn't have been.....it was just a lunch. And when I think that I used to be able to plan and carry out functions for several thousand people at a time it's a little unnerving.
When I was driving home from the luncheon I noticed that my reaction time was off. Not bad, but it seemed like I was about a second or two off from what I should have been. I never thought too much about it at the time.
Then when my husband came home we went out to play tennis. And, I noticed my reaction time on the court was really off. Now sometimes I just don't go race down a shot out of sheer laziness but tonight, my brain didn't even tell my body to run for the ball until after it had bounced -- and then it was way too late. I've had a few problems before playing tennis but nothing like that. I hated it because there was absolutely nothing I could do about it -- the brain just didn't work.
I don't know what else to say!
The lunch went well but in the end I realized how stressed I was. I shouldn't have been.....it was just a lunch. And when I think that I used to be able to plan and carry out functions for several thousand people at a time it's a little unnerving.
When I was driving home from the luncheon I noticed that my reaction time was off. Not bad, but it seemed like I was about a second or two off from what I should have been. I never thought too much about it at the time.
Then when my husband came home we went out to play tennis. And, I noticed my reaction time on the court was really off. Now sometimes I just don't go race down a shot out of sheer laziness but tonight, my brain didn't even tell my body to run for the ball until after it had bounced -- and then it was way too late. I've had a few problems before playing tennis but nothing like that. I hated it because there was absolutely nothing I could do about it -- the brain just didn't work.
I don't know what else to say!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Sorry
it has been so long since I posted. I have been waiting for my son to "fix" my blog by being able to add comments but he said he had a problem doing it --- that's why it hasn't been done. I asked him to ask his girlfriend to do it so it might get done -- Ithink she knows more about that stuff anyway -- so hopefully before they go off to California we'll get it done. However, as I write this I see that there might be a place for comments so he might have done it and now it works. After I push the button to "publish this" I guess we'll see if a comments area comes up. If not, stay tuned!
We went white water rafting a few weeks ago. I was dreading it because it was class IV and V rapids. I've never done anything like that before (highest I've ever gone is Class III and only one or two of them) -- but the trip wasn't too bad. We never fell out of the raft and that was a good thing. The bad thing was that I hurt in places I didn't know you could hurt the next day.
Then we took a train ride through the Blue Ridge Mountain area. It was a three hour trip and went through Tennessee and Georgia. We had done our rafting in South Carolina so we got around a bit those few days!
Today Alan and I went to a Braves games despite the heat we are having -- but it wasn't too bad. After about an hour and a half we were in the shade so we survived and the Braves won.
Last weekend Alan his dad and Jennifer painted his room. Then we had new carpet put down. The house was a mess for several days and it really took its toll on me. Things were not in the right spot and I got really confused. Alan's stuff was all over the house and it was so confusing to me that I had a few pretty rocky days until it was finished. Now the house is somewhat back to normal and I am feeling better. I was close to having severe panic attacks with everything strewn all over the house.
I have lots of Alzheimer's stuff to go over with you -- but need to save it for the next post. Thanks to all of you that read this and give me your support -- it means a lot to me.
We went white water rafting a few weeks ago. I was dreading it because it was class IV and V rapids. I've never done anything like that before (highest I've ever gone is Class III and only one or two of them) -- but the trip wasn't too bad. We never fell out of the raft and that was a good thing. The bad thing was that I hurt in places I didn't know you could hurt the next day.
Then we took a train ride through the Blue Ridge Mountain area. It was a three hour trip and went through Tennessee and Georgia. We had done our rafting in South Carolina so we got around a bit those few days!
Today Alan and I went to a Braves games despite the heat we are having -- but it wasn't too bad. After about an hour and a half we were in the shade so we survived and the Braves won.
Last weekend Alan his dad and Jennifer painted his room. Then we had new carpet put down. The house was a mess for several days and it really took its toll on me. Things were not in the right spot and I got really confused. Alan's stuff was all over the house and it was so confusing to me that I had a few pretty rocky days until it was finished. Now the house is somewhat back to normal and I am feeling better. I was close to having severe panic attacks with everything strewn all over the house.
I have lots of Alzheimer's stuff to go over with you -- but need to save it for the next post. Thanks to all of you that read this and give me your support -- it means a lot to me.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Vacation's over
Well we made it back from Hilton Head. The weather was hot but we still managed some tennis, swimming (pool and ocean) and bicycling around the island. Alan and Jennifer also ventured into the waters with a kayak.
It was nice to get away but it is always nice to get home as well. The trip was much harder for me than I thought it was going to be. And mostly, because things were new to me. We stayed in a villa for the week and of course, everything was different. I found it extemely difficult to work in the kitchen -- I had to ask for help several times. I was just so confused because I didn't know where things were and where to put them back when I got them out, etc. etc. Also, Hilton Head was a lot busier in general than we had remembered it. There were a lot more people and a couple of times, I found myself very close to a panic attack because there were so many people around and I was in a strange place.
Sometimes when we go on vacation I like to venture out on my own. But I couldn't do that either on foot, bike or by car because I was so confused by my surroundings. I hate it when that happens! Luckily, my family was by my side and didn't leave me alone too often.
We have a few more two and three day trips left for the summer but they shouldn't be too bad. Then, we'll be packing Alan up for the drive to California. What fun that will be.
It was nice to get away but it is always nice to get home as well. The trip was much harder for me than I thought it was going to be. And mostly, because things were new to me. We stayed in a villa for the week and of course, everything was different. I found it extemely difficult to work in the kitchen -- I had to ask for help several times. I was just so confused because I didn't know where things were and where to put them back when I got them out, etc. etc. Also, Hilton Head was a lot busier in general than we had remembered it. There were a lot more people and a couple of times, I found myself very close to a panic attack because there were so many people around and I was in a strange place.
Sometimes when we go on vacation I like to venture out on my own. But I couldn't do that either on foot, bike or by car because I was so confused by my surroundings. I hate it when that happens! Luckily, my family was by my side and didn't leave me alone too often.
We have a few more two and three day trips left for the summer but they shouldn't be too bad. Then, we'll be packing Alan up for the drive to California. What fun that will be.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Vacation
I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted here. Sorry about that -- not really much happening I guess. I've been trying to stay ahead of the curve with the Memory Walk stuff and so far I've been doing o.k. with it. We are only a few months away from it and we still have lots to do.
We'll be vacationing next week at Hilton Head and I'm looking forward to getting away. It has been at least 10 years since we have been down there. I don't really know why I should be looking forward to it as much as I am -- since I used to look forward to vacations to get away from work! I guess I'm interested in a change of scenery.
Alan has promised he is going to redo this blog site before he leaves for Stanford. He is going to add a place you can add comments to it. I'm not sure that is a good thing or not! Sometimes the comments might not be too good -- in fact, a few weeks ago a lady told me that "the only reason you speak out about your Alzheimer's is so that people will feel sorry for you". That upset me terribly and I haven't told anyone about that until now. I hope that isn't what everyone thinks because if it is I need to stop now!
We'll be vacationing next week at Hilton Head and I'm looking forward to getting away. It has been at least 10 years since we have been down there. I don't really know why I should be looking forward to it as much as I am -- since I used to look forward to vacations to get away from work! I guess I'm interested in a change of scenery.
Alan has promised he is going to redo this blog site before he leaves for Stanford. He is going to add a place you can add comments to it. I'm not sure that is a good thing or not! Sometimes the comments might not be too good -- in fact, a few weeks ago a lady told me that "the only reason you speak out about your Alzheimer's is so that people will feel sorry for you". That upset me terribly and I haven't told anyone about that until now. I hope that isn't what everyone thinks because if it is I need to stop now!
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