Gracious -- it has been a long time

since I lasted posted.  All my intentions of sitting down at the computer and adding some meaningful things to this blog seem to fade away before I actually sign in to this blog.  Anyway, thanks again to those who do follow this thing. All the time I swear to do better and then I don't.

Obviously a lot has happened since I last logged in.  I have lost several friends in the last few months to cancer and other things.  As we get older I guess we should expect that but it is still hard.  And, when I go to their funerals or memorials I always think about what people will say when I am gone.  I know what I would want them to say -- but that probably isn't what they will say! 

I have had a few more "episodes" as my husband calls them.  I am having some much harder days and have had to ask for a lot more help.  I am finding it more and more difficult to talk on the phone these days -- I think it is easier for me to see the person I am talking to.  Email and text messages work so much better for me because I can go back and re-read them if necessary.  Sometimes the most mundane things are hard -- like sorting things by color or trying to understand something I read.  I had my first real case of "wandering" which took my husband by surprise. I find it is much harder to control my emotions and I will say things that I have always thought, but not allowed to get from my brain to my mouth!  That gets me into trouble, but trying to filter what I say is much much harder now.  I try to rationalize it that I am getting older and it is hard to be politically correct and to be "nice" but I know that isn't the real reason my outbursts explode!

I am still working through that bucket list of mine.  Tomorrow, one more thing will be crossed off as I have finally gotten my brother to Georgia and we are going to the Masters together.  I have been several times and I was fortunate to have my oldest brother (now deceased) come about 20 years ago and go with me.  So, it has always been my goal to get my brother Tom here for that experience.  We golfed as kids with two brothers and my dad it made for a good foursome.  My oldest brother played golf in college and my other brother and I have played sporadically over the years.  I used to be half way decent but I don't play enough now.  I am just glad that I am able to experience this with my brother after all these years of trying to make it happen.