Friday, January 23, 2015

a bad week

I have started this post many times and deleted it. this time it is going to be published whether it is "polished" or not.

as my Alzheimer's progresses my emotions get out of control. My feelings get hurt very easily. I have written before how it has been hard for me to let go of things. I don't know why I can't keep my emotions in check. I don't know if I am imagining things, reading into things wrong, or just losing it at times. But it really affects me when I am left out, forgotten or people just don't care enough, when I have put my heart and soul into a friendship that people do some of the things they do. If I say something to them, they think I am being petty -- but it isn't petty to me. We all have our thresholds I guess and mine is pretty low.

a couple of weeks ago I had two funerals in one day. It brought sorrow and joy into my life -- sorrow for losing two individuals  so young, but joy to know how well they were loved and by getting to see so many people that helped celebrate their life. Tomorrow brings yet another funeral. I guess as we get older, funerals become the norm, but it is still hard.

This week I suffered a head injury and the doctor has deemed it a concussion. Can't say I have ever had one of those, but it isn't pleasant.

Also this week I sat down and wrote several letters -- yes, actual letters. I like writing letters "the old fashioned way". One of the letters was to a man that I went to college with that has had a lasting affect on me. Every time I went back to Illinois I would say I want to go by and see him. I never got around to it. so, I finally decided to sit down and tell him what our friendship meant to me and how he showed me a different way of thinking and how grateful I was to have had him as a friend. I am glad I did that.

I am hoping next week will be better.

1 comment:

VJ said...

I am so amazed that you can still write and use Blogger 12 years after your diagnosis of Alzheimer's. I always thought of this disease as a quick progression into darkness, but your blog is giving me hope that there can be many good years remaining. Hang in there! Are you going to see Still Alice in theaters?