Saturday, February 05, 2011

Blogs and Friends

I've been looking at some blogs lately of people I know and I feel so inadequate after reading theirs. They all sound intelligent, well thought out and put together. Mine, on the other hand, are disconnected and jump around from thought to thought. I find that I want my friends to write more so I can read more. I'm not amazed by what they right, I guess I'm amazed at how effortless it probably is for them (and maybe it's not, but they've fooled me). It seems they put lots and lots of thought into what they are going to write so it really has a story -- with a beginning, middle and end. I used to fuss at my son when he was writing for school projects about having the beginning, middle and end. Now I can't seem to find those things myself. So, I appreciate all those that still read this blog, because a lot of times I do just ramble......without structure.....random thoughts that pop into my head -- have to write them quickly or they pop out just as fast. Having said all of this, I want to share an experience I had yesterday and you may have to weave it all together, but it means a lot to me.

Yesterday was one of those days where it was cold and rainy. A day where you wanted to stay inside and read a book or take a nap. But, I had plans to go out and meet some old friends for lunch. I met these ladies thirty years ago. That's shortly after we moved to the south. My husband had been transferred and when he transferred many of the same people he worked with up north transferred along with him. So when he went to work here, it was kind of like working where we used to live, because although he was in a different building, he was doing the same thing and working with the same people.

I, on the other hand, was the new wife, moving to a small town, had no job and knew no one. So, we joined a small community country club -- and when you think of country club, I'm sure you are not thinking of this one -- no white table cloths, no exclusive parties, no high initiation fees, no valet parking, no waiting list to join. It was an affordable one for what we wanted to do --which was mainly play tennis. There was a golf course and a swimming pool, but our main focus at the time was to play tennis. We paid our modest amount of money to join and bought basically the "tennis package" which allowed us to make reservations for a court and play about as much tennis as we wanted.

We slowly began to meet other people that played tennis and before I knew it I was on a tennis team. Then, I was on two tennis teams. Then I was playing in some socials....and you get the drift. The ladies that I played with became my newest best friends. It was my "community" at the time. I didn't realize what an important part of my life these people would become. We seemed to live at the tennis courts and traveled together for matches. As we each had children, we started bringing them to the courts where the bigger ones would watch the smaller ones. We came from different backgrounds, different counties and different cultures. But we were all a family on the tennis court -- even though we liked some strong but friendly competition.

Over the years, one by one we stopped playing tennis, or we stopped playing in league play. We all had our reasons, whether it be family, injuries, returning to work or whatever. But, those 25-30 people that became my community back then, still surface from time to time and we picked up where we left off.

That's a long way of saying, that yesterday, I met two of these ladies for lunch. One I had not seen in probably twenty years, the other, I have just recently gotten back in touch with and renewed that friendship. It was great catching up with both of them and I realized how lucky I was (or am) to have these women in my life. It didn't seem like we missed a beat in picking up our conversation -- like we were talking over the tennis net. Although we have lost touch over the years, they (and all my tennis buddies) are people I know that I could pick up the phone and ask for help if I needed it. We all need friends like that. I hope they consider me to be just as an important friend to them. I thank them for being in my life.

I can remember times my son and I would be out shopping and I would run into one of my tennis friends and introduce Alan. Many times he would turn to me and say "Mom, is there anyone you haven't played tennis with?" It always made me smile. I would reply "Of course, there is -- but this lady was a friend of mine, too". They were all friends and "my family" as well.

We all have our own little communities and they change the way we look at things. Sometimes we forget that our friends help shape who we are. I'm glad I have the friends I have....even if I don't see them as often as I should.


NewKidontheBlogg said...

You write very well. Love your recording these memories.

Sandy said...

Kris, As a blogger myself, I think you're wrong about your writing and your story-telling capabilities.

This post kept me interested from start to finish and opened my eyes to a totally new concept.

You're so right. I'd never seen it quite that way. I always thought of myself as a product of all the people I've known in my lifetime.

But it is more than that. Besides individual friends, it's also the entire communities we've belonged to that change and embellish our lives.

Thanks for a great post,