Thursday, February 12, 2004

This is Hard

Several people have called me lately to ask me why I haven't written anything in my blog. The problem is I think of all kinds of things to post here, but then I have second thoughts. I don't want this to sound so depressing or always talk about the difficulties I face, but that is what is on my mind most of the time. Work has been extremely hard this week and at one point, I was so confused I wanted to call my husband and ask him to come and get me so I could go home and snuggle up in a warm bed and take a nap. Nothing was making sense and I didn't know what to do about it. My brain had turned to jello and it was melting! Somehow, I regrouped and made it through the day but it was tough. I've mentioned before that routine is very important to me and I have bad days when my routine is out of kilter. Having this cast on my foot has definitely changed my routine and perhaps that is contributing to my difficult times of late.

I had a confrontation on the phone with our cell phone provider and I was so confused by what she was saying that I know that I was not getting across to her. I knew exactly what I needed to say but the words could not come out and I got very frustrated. The whole situation was frustrating but I felt taken advantage of. Another instance where I felt this way was when I went into a drugstore to buy a lot of things and I had a bunch of coupons. When I was being checked out I knew that the clerk had not rung it up properly to take into account my coupons and the sales items, but I couldn't explain it to her. It was all in my head, but I couldn't get it out properly. I felt like a senior citizen being scammed by a con artist. There was absolutely nothing I could do to make the situation right because I didn't have the capability of communicating the right way. That is also a good reason not to go shopping by myself -- which I don't do very often.

But, I was able to enjoy a weekend with my son home and celebrated my husband's 60th birthday yesterday. Those are the nice things I hope I can remember.

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