California and Back

Well, the trip to California is now history. It was a great trip -- the weather was great and seeing Alan (and Jennifer) was even greater. I forget how much I miss Alan when I don't see him. It seems like it was harder for me to leave this time, than it was for me to see him leave on his trip out there. It's hard to imagine that he is his own man now, not relying on his parents and making his way for himself. I know that is what we raise them for, but it's hard to see that happen sometimes.

We spend Alan's 22nd birthday with him. It was nice to be able to spend it together. We spent the day walking around the Stanford campus, Ralph and Alan played some tennis, we went out for dinner and came back to their apartment for cake and presents. The weather was so beautiful.

On Saturday we went up to San Francisco and went to Golden Gate Park and to the Japanese Tea Garden there. It was really pretty. Then we went to the Presidio and took a hiking trail. We didn't go down to the tourist spots on Fisherman's Wharf because we had been there before. We were searching for new places to explore. I had a hard time that day because I kept forgetting where we were. Later in the day, I just realized that it didn't matter where I was but that I was with my family and that is all that mattered.

I don't think I could ever get used to living on the Pacific Coast in Pacific Time Zone. It is just not right to be watching football in the morning! All of the live ESPN programming ran at it's usual time on Eastern time, but it is three hours earlier out there so football games that start at noon show in California at 9:00 a.m. --- that's just not right. The prime time programming on the major networks is held back, but it is still odd.

I'm still somewhat jet lagged. I think I stayed in CA long enough to get used to their time, only to come back and have to get readjusted to our time. So, as I remember more, I will write more.

All in all -- it was a good trip.

The Weekend

Well the Memory Walk is over. It was a great day weather wise and we are hopefully going to come close to our goal of $50,000. It will be close but we are keeping our fingers crossed. It was an exhausting day after setting up the night before, walking the 3 miles and tearing everything down after the walk. Luckily, we had a fraternity on the UGA campus helping us and they was a huge help. They are much younger than we are! Thanks again to everyone that donated to the cause!

But the walk took a toll on me. I was really tired and didn't have a good day today (Monday). I went out to run some errands but just got too confused -- partly I think because I was still tired. A good long nap this afternoon helped clear my fuzzy brain a little.

We are going to visit Alan on Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it. I know it will be a hard trip for me but I need to see my son. It's been almost two months that he has been gone and it's time to see him. His birthday is Friday and I'm glad we will get a chance to be with him. It's kind of an insignificant number (22) but it's a birthday just the same. It's nice to be with family on your birthday. I really missed him on mine a week or so ago.

So, when we return I hope I have great things to tell you about the trip. I just have to pace myself and try not to get too tired. Although I've been to California a couple of times, it is still not that familiar to me to feel comfortable. At least I won't be alone.

Memory Walk

Our Memory Walk is tomorrow and I would like to thank everyone again who donated to the cause. The generosity of everyone has been overwhelming to me. I really appreciate everything! The weather looks like it is going to be nice and that's a good thing! I'll write more after the walk and before we take off next week to see Alan at Stanford. Thanks again everyone.

A Milestone of Sorts

On Sunday, I turn 50 years old....a milestone in most people's books. But as I get older I feel how much I am regressing (I hope that is the right word) into a world that is unknown to me. Some days I feel as young as a five year old, when I can't do simple tasks like sorting shapes and objects. Other days I feel more than my age with my aches and pains of getting older and being out of shape.

We all "have our days" I guess, but as I look into the future I see more dark days than light ones. And, since the concept of age is all in our minds, you can only imagine what type of a concept I have in mine.

This and That

This past weekend my husband and I went to the mountains in northeast Georgia with a friend whose family has a cabin up there. This was our second trip and it is so peaceful up there. It was much cooler up there and it was a nice break from the heat we have been experiencing. It's nice to get away even for a day or so. I was bothered by panic attacks while there and I was surprised by that -- I don't know if it was because I was in a somewhat unfamiliar place or not -- but I got through it.

I've been working a lot on the Memory Walk which is October 15th. I don't think I can be on the organizing committee next year, as it is taking way too much out of me. I can only imagine what next year would be like for me if I continue. But, there are many people that are stepping forward and it will certainly be in good hands.

I was doing a radio interview this week for the walk. And, the show's host is a friend of mine. She said something at the end of the interview that made me pause. She told me that since my diagnosis so many people in the community have been pulling for me and that I have so many people who care about me that I am blessed. I know that and I appreciate everyone. But sometimes it takes someone to remind you how blessed you are. Thanks to everyone.

Finally......

a way to express what happens with a lot of noise -- many of you know how distracting it is to me with lots of noise around me and how difficult it is for me to concentrate. It is hard for me to put into words but I found this article this morning and it makes me feel better -- http://my.webmd.com/content/article/112/110336.htm

Unititled

I couldn't think of a title for this post -- so for now "untitled" is what it will be. It has been one of those weeks -- things not quite synching in the way they should. I have been so unmotivated this week -- I think mainly because I have been unable to focus and get things into perspective. It isn't that I dont' have a lot that I can be doing -- I just can't seem to get there. My medicines have been acting up on me -- making me sick to my stomach. I've been trying to lose weight again and I think my lower caloric intake is upsetting my stomach with the medicine. But, I'm going to try to work through it and hopefully it will get better. It is always something isn't it? But, it has been hard for me to concentrate this week and getting anything accomplished has been a chore. Some weeks are like that. Hopefully, I'll have a better outlook soon. It's very frustrating to know that you have things to be doing and just can't quite figure out how to get them done! It's like I don't know what I am suppose to be doing and I need someone to draw me a map. Then I think I could follow it.

The Week

I'm having one of those "anxiety" weeks -- trying to fend off all too common panic attacks. It is very weird how they come on -- but I just get this feeling that I have to be home. I feel much better when I am home -- last week when I went to the neurologist he asked me if it was making me a "hermit" --and I wouldn't say that that is the case, I just feel better at home. I can't quite wrap my feelings around it -- it is just that I need to be home.

On another note, I received a lovely note from a lady that attended my talk in Gainesville last week. That meant so much to me.

Speaking in Gainesville

Yesterday I drove t Gainesville Georgia where I spoke to the Commerce Club. My friend Carol set it up for me and there were about 20 women there. I decided I was having a good enough day that I could speak from just my notes and it turned out pretty well. I'm never quite sure going into it whether I'm going to hit a chord with the group I'm speaking to or not. But, as I have said before, this is much for therapy for me as it is hopefully an education for them. They were extremely gracious women and made me feel very comfortable -- I'm sure it is that Southern Charm. But, I appreciate them taking the time to listen to my message and hopefully I was able to answer a few questions for them. I enjoyed myself but I was extremely tired when I returned home and a nap was in store. I have spoken to a group in about a month and it took more out of me than I thought it would -- but it was worth it -- it is always worth it! Thanks again to the ladies in Gainesville for having me.

A little change

as you will see -- you can now add a comment. My son came through for me (as I knew he would!) but be nice --- everyone else can read your comments!