This and That

This past weekend my husband and I went to the mountains in northeast Georgia with a friend whose family has a cabin up there. This was our second trip and it is so peaceful up there. It was much cooler up there and it was a nice break from the heat we have been experiencing. It's nice to get away even for a day or so. I was bothered by panic attacks while there and I was surprised by that -- I don't know if it was because I was in a somewhat unfamiliar place or not -- but I got through it.

I've been working a lot on the Memory Walk which is October 15th. I don't think I can be on the organizing committee next year, as it is taking way too much out of me. I can only imagine what next year would be like for me if I continue. But, there are many people that are stepping forward and it will certainly be in good hands.

I was doing a radio interview this week for the walk. And, the show's host is a friend of mine. She said something at the end of the interview that made me pause. She told me that since my diagnosis so many people in the community have been pulling for me and that I have so many people who care about me that I am blessed. I know that and I appreciate everyone. But sometimes it takes someone to remind you how blessed you are. Thanks to everyone.

Finally......

a way to express what happens with a lot of noise -- many of you know how distracting it is to me with lots of noise around me and how difficult it is for me to concentrate. It is hard for me to put into words but I found this article this morning and it makes me feel better -- http://my.webmd.com/content/article/112/110336.htm

Unititled

I couldn't think of a title for this post -- so for now "untitled" is what it will be. It has been one of those weeks -- things not quite synching in the way they should. I have been so unmotivated this week -- I think mainly because I have been unable to focus and get things into perspective. It isn't that I dont' have a lot that I can be doing -- I just can't seem to get there. My medicines have been acting up on me -- making me sick to my stomach. I've been trying to lose weight again and I think my lower caloric intake is upsetting my stomach with the medicine. But, I'm going to try to work through it and hopefully it will get better. It is always something isn't it? But, it has been hard for me to concentrate this week and getting anything accomplished has been a chore. Some weeks are like that. Hopefully, I'll have a better outlook soon. It's very frustrating to know that you have things to be doing and just can't quite figure out how to get them done! It's like I don't know what I am suppose to be doing and I need someone to draw me a map. Then I think I could follow it.

The Week

I'm having one of those "anxiety" weeks -- trying to fend off all too common panic attacks. It is very weird how they come on -- but I just get this feeling that I have to be home. I feel much better when I am home -- last week when I went to the neurologist he asked me if it was making me a "hermit" --and I wouldn't say that that is the case, I just feel better at home. I can't quite wrap my feelings around it -- it is just that I need to be home.

On another note, I received a lovely note from a lady that attended my talk in Gainesville last week. That meant so much to me.

Speaking in Gainesville

Yesterday I drove t Gainesville Georgia where I spoke to the Commerce Club. My friend Carol set it up for me and there were about 20 women there. I decided I was having a good enough day that I could speak from just my notes and it turned out pretty well. I'm never quite sure going into it whether I'm going to hit a chord with the group I'm speaking to or not. But, as I have said before, this is much for therapy for me as it is hopefully an education for them. They were extremely gracious women and made me feel very comfortable -- I'm sure it is that Southern Charm. But, I appreciate them taking the time to listen to my message and hopefully I was able to answer a few questions for them. I enjoyed myself but I was extremely tired when I returned home and a nap was in store. I have spoken to a group in about a month and it took more out of me than I thought it would -- but it was worth it -- it is always worth it! Thanks again to the ladies in Gainesville for having me.

A little change

as you will see -- you can now add a comment. My son came through for me (as I knew he would!) but be nice --- everyone else can read your comments!

Another world away

is what it seems like to me when I look at the devastating photos from New Orleans. I was glued to my tv set for the first few days of Katrina and then I started getting so depressed I stopped watching. I cannot even imagine what those people are going through. My problems don't seem to be very big when I see that.

My son has made it to Stanford and starts his classes tomorrow. It seems like it has been a long time coming -- I know he will enjoy his studies.

Before he left, he was going to alter my blog site somewhat in order for you to send comments, but that is a task that didn't get done and probably won't for awhile. That is certainly not a priority now.

I have been working as much as I can on the Memory Walk as it is in about 6 weeks. It overwhelms me at times and I keep thinking that I can continue like I used to and I know that I can't. It's just hard to get that in my mind sometimes! I don't know what my role will be next year, it is probably time for me to be off the committee and just gather my friends, raise money and walk for the good of the cause.

To all of those that have donated to the Walk in my honor, thank you. I know for many there are more pressing issues in the world right now than finding a cure for Alzheimer's -- but I hope we don't lose sight of it.

Off To Law School

Well, yesterday was an emotional day for my husband and I. Our son drove off to California to go to Stanford Law School. Considering we live in Georgia, it's a long way away. There were naturally lots of tears, but we know that this is the right place for him. We are very proud of him and we know that he will do well. He is a great son.

It's been a long week

On Sunday night we had a going away party for my son and his girlfriend. It was so nice that everyone showed up and we had a good time. I was really exhausted after it though. On Monday Alan and I went out to play golf. I've been having a problem with my right foot -- the same one I broke awhile back. And, it was hurting so bad when I got home that I decided it was finally time to go see the doctor. To make a long story short, I am now in a "boot" and go back in ten days to see what is going on. It appears that I have a stress fracture in my foot and a bone spur that is rubbing up against my Achilles Tendon. None of this is good. We'll see what happens after I go back to the doctor.

Alan is getting all of his stuff ready for Stanford. He'll leave next Tuesday. I have been dreading this day -- and it will be here before I know it.

I go back to the neurologist on Monday. I haven't been in awhile and I can't imagine he is going to tell me a lot -- wish there were some new "cures" out there!

Our computer has been sick for a few days and it hasn't allowed me to get to the internet or my email. Since it is difficult for me to talk on the phone my computer is kind of like my "lifeline" if you will. I can go back and re-read emails and take me time composing as that is difficult sometimes. Luckily, my husband was able to fix it and now I feel "back to normal".

A Bad Day When You Least Expect It

Today started out a good day. Today was our Memory Walk Captain's Luncheon. Outback Steakhouse provided lunch for our committee and for those who are going to have a team in this year's Memory Walk. I didn't have to do much for it -- I got some door prizes together and helped with whatever I could. I wasn't even speaking -- I did last year, but I thought they needed to hear someone else speak this year.

The lunch went well but in the end I realized how stressed I was. I shouldn't have been.....it was just a lunch. And when I think that I used to be able to plan and carry out functions for several thousand people at a time it's a little unnerving.

When I was driving home from the luncheon I noticed that my reaction time was off. Not bad, but it seemed like I was about a second or two off from what I should have been. I never thought too much about it at the time.

Then when my husband came home we went out to play tennis. And, I noticed my reaction time on the court was really off. Now sometimes I just don't go race down a shot out of sheer laziness but tonight, my brain didn't even tell my body to run for the ball until after it had bounced -- and then it was way too late. I've had a few problems before playing tennis but nothing like that. I hated it because there was absolutely nothing I could do about it -- the brain just didn't work.

I don't know what else to say!