to all of you that have sent emails to me lately, wondering about my whereabouts on this blog. Sorry I haven't written -- I'm here. Just having a problem getting my thoughts in order and typing them out. I seem to have a problem lately with getting my thoughts organized and out whether they are in written or verbal form. I went to the neurologist last week and he told me that he thought that I had gotten a little worse in my "delayed speech pattern". Which basically meant that I was having a hard time getting my words out. I told him I thought so too, but then he looked at me and said, "you know, there isn't anything I can do for you". Which although I know that is true, it's hard to hear sometimes.
It's frustrating for me when I can have whole conversations in my head that I want to have with someone, but I can't get the words out.
My husband has been gone for about a week. He's home today. I know I have said it before, that when he is away and I am home alone, it is so much easier on me. He knows this too so I'm not saying anything out of line. I am amazed at how much easier it is -- not from the physical things I usually do like cleaning, cooking and dishes, but mentally. I find that I can stay up longer at night because I'm not as mentally tired from having someone around all the time. And I get much more stressed when my husband is around, not sure what that is all about, but I would probably be stressed with anyone around --that isn't aimed at him! My husband doesn't talk much, but he is a pacer -- he paces all over the house during the day. I'll be in one room trying to "do my own thing" and he will come in there many many times during his pacing. Each time it interrupts what I am doing and although he says he doesn't want anything, it's still an interruption in my brain. It's amazing how these little things will get to me. And, of course, the noise is an issue -- which it gets worse and worse. I think I might have had the television set on a total of about 5 or 6 hours during the entire time he was gone. Counter that with the almost non-stop television set being on when he is home, it sure makes a difference. He is getting better about wearing earphones with the televsion set, but it is still bothersome. A friend of mine with AD, just had some custom made ear plugs made that he says blocks out all the noise except for conversations. He says he can ride in the car with his wife with the radio on and not hear the radio but he can hear her when she talks. I might look into that. We have finished converting my son's old bedroom into a "quiet room" for me and it has certainly been a great place for me to go to achieve some peach and quiet.
On another note, my friend Carol and I went to Macon last week to an Alzheimer's fundraiser with the band Diamond Rio. It was lots of fun to be away together and the concert was really nice. Thanks Carol -- for being my chaueffer and most of all my friend for all these years -- Sainthood might be up there for you too! Carol will certainly understand this.